As the day for my annual colonoscopy approached, I was filled with anxiety that my cancer might have returned. Just one year earlier, the doctor had found and removed several non-cancerous polyps. Though I had ‘beaten’ colon cancer twice before, the ‘what-ifs’ overwhelmed me. Finally, I’d had enough. I was tired of feeling defeated.

I began to pray in a different way. I got really honest with God about how angry I was over my cancer diagnosis at the age of 17, and the high risk of cancers I face because of a rare genetic condition. I let myself grieve the loss of my health, my fertility, and my carefree teenage years. The tears flowed and flowed – until one day they stopped. I began to sense God’s presence in my grief and started to notice how negative my thoughts had become. I resolved not to let negativity dominate me and instead focused on the positive things around me. They had been there all along, but I had needed God’s help to see them.

When the day for my colonoscopy came, I looked for blessings. I found many: words of admiration for my strength, a warm blanket in the examination room, the blueberry muffin I ate on my way home, hugs from my family after the procedure, and a sense of freedom to share my story openly once again. Sometimes anxiety is inevitable, but when we recognise negative thoughts and let God show us the positives, our fears can be replaced by new hope.

Prayer: Dear God, help us to trust you with our negative thoughts so that you can help us to see the blessings all around us. Amen