That's Been Done!

Years after the fact, the realisation of my failure as a mother hit me like a charging elephant. My children’s father had abused them, and I—their mother—had failed adequately to protect them. Because of my negligence, my sons suffered immeasurable mental, spiritual and physical pain—pain that I could not heal.

Disconsolate, I lived in unrelenting sorrow and self-loathing. I had left my children vulnerable. How could I have done that? I felt that I did not deserve to live. But in one of my darkest moments, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart: ‘Jesus has already died for that; you should live.’ And I knew it to be true. Long before I realised the extent of my sinfulness, Jesus died for all my sins, even this one. I could never make atonement, but Jesus already had. 

Thankful for God’s abundant grace, I began the journey toward healing. Through counselling I learned more about abuse and the way it distorts reality. I combated condemning thoughts by quoting scripture to remind myself that I am forgiven and deeply loved by God. I live—forgiven, accepted and loved.