On the evening of 28 August 2015, my life as I knew it was forever changed. I watched in panic as Steve, my husband of almost 44 years, took his final breaths on earth.

  

I was in shock. Most of our friends tried their best to share comforting words. I could only nod half-heartedly. Many people said, ‘You are so strong.’ I wanted to scream at them, because I had never felt so weak, lonely and vulnerable. I felt rejected and unloved by God. I wondered what I had done to displease God so much that I would lose Steve. How could people call me ‘so strong’? I was barely getting through the days and nights I now spent alone. Then God spoke to me. It was not an audible voice, but a very clear thought: ‘I will always be with you.’

  

Even though I miss Steve terribly, I must get up every morning and begin the day God has set before me. I still do not like my ‘new normal’, but I know that God is with me and has plans for me. He is a very present help in my time of trouble, and he is all I need to go on.

Prayer: Dear Lord, in times of fear, doubt and questioning, give us the strength to continue to do your will. Amen